Ted Lasso Quotes

Ted Lasso

Ted Lasso Quotes

The Apple TV series “Ted Lasso” is about an American college football coach in the UK. The tv show follows Ted Lasso who is hired to coach an English soccer team in England. Starring Jason Sudeikis, Hannah Waddingham, and Juno Temple. Season 3 of the TV series was released on 15 March 2023.

Ted Lasso Season 3 Quotes

1

Barbara: I noticed a business expense for flowers recurring weekly. You want to spend £200 every week on flowers?
Keeley: Yes.
Barbara: Why?
Keeley: So, the office is cheerful and smells nice.
Barbara: Flowers are for two things, Ms. Jones. Dead people and dead marriages.

Ted Lasso
2
Ted Lasso: And Hallmark Christmas movies are films that feature women from the big city falling in love with their childhood crushes. It’s usually some fella that owns a Christmas tree farm. Sometimes he’s also Santa Claus or a prince. They suck, but they’re great. But they also mostly suck. But they’re also kind of great. They’re good with the sound off.
Ted Lasso
3

Rebecca: All of them. All of them have us finishing last this season.
Leslie: It’s really rather annoying, isn’t it?
Rebecca: Every newspaper, every television pundit, every lonely middle-aged sports-blogging loser writing in his mother’s basement.
Leslie: You know, Rebecca, that stereotype really isn’t true anymore. For example, our ten-year-old, Terry, started writing a sports blog in our kitchen, which we now call his home office. For tax purposes.

4

Ted Lasso: We get one goal, we’re right back in this thing, yes? But right now, we are being so unoffensive, we might as well be a Hallmark Christmas movie, you know what I’m saying?

5

Ted: I don’t know. I’m tidy. I say “Please” and “Thank you.” Sometimes I offer to drive if they look tired.
Sassy: You are such a mess!

Ted Lasso

Ted Lasso

2020 - 2023

The tv show “Ted Lasso” Season 3 is about the soccer team “Richmond” in the English Premier League. It stars Jason Sudeikis and Hannah Waddingham. Season 3 of the tv series Ted Lasso is about a confrontation between Richmond and West Ham.

Ted Lasso TV Show Quotes

6

Rebecca: Well, apparently, everyone alive has picked Richmond to finish in 20th place this season.
Leslie: Except the Daily Mirror, which has us finishing “twentyelf.” An adorable but devastating typo.

7

Zava: I will begin by addressing the most important person in this room. Which of you is the kit man?
Will: That’s me. I am Will.
Zava: I too worked as a ball boy for a club when I was just 11 years old.
Will: I’m 25.
Zava: Your passion is why I play.

8

Rebecca: Oklahoma?
Ted Lasso: I’m a work in “progmess.”

9

Jamie: Who the f**k says “pre-Madonna”? What the f**k does that even mean?
Roy: It means before Madonna, female vocalists didn’t have to work that hard.
Jamie: Are you mad? You never heard of Tina Turner? F**king Stevie Nicks?

Ted Lasso
10
Some men have a charisma that transcends orientation. Paul Newman, Idris Elba, Norm Macdonald. Zava is definitely one of those charisma unicorns.

Cast: Jason Sudeikis, Brett Goldstein, Hannah Waddingham, and Juno Temple.

TV Series: Season 1 (2018), Season 2 (2019), Season 3 (2021), Season 4 (2023)

Quotes from Ted Lasso on Apple TV+

11

Keeley: What did you decide after Tish’s reading? Are you going to go back and see her?
Rebecca: No. No, no. It’s not for me. If I wanted to be scammed out of all my money, I’d go the old-fashioned route and become obsessively religious.

12

Ted Lasso: I like the new hair color.
Reporter: Thank you.
Ted Lasso: You do it just for fun or are you going through a breakup?
Reporter: Both.

13
Zava: It’s an honor for you to meet me.
14

Flight attendant: Hello, Henry. It’s nice to see you again. Are you excited to head back home?
Henry: To all my toys? Yes. To my country’s political landscape? Not so much.

15

Ted Lasso: Henry and I played a whole bunch of FIFA while he was here. Very helpful. You know, we both learned who Maradona was, and I had to explain to my son why co*aine is actually bad for you.

16

Rebecca: And this is Leslie Higgins, our director of football.
Zava: You are the glue.
Leslie: Thank you very much.

17

Reporter: How dumb are you?
Ted Lasso: All right, well, you know. Well, whenever I text someone over here about money, I still spell “pounds” L-B-S.

18

– I had a woman accost me on the street, telling me I should fake an injury this season so I wouldn’t have to deal with the misery.
– Did you tell her to pi*s off?
– No, she was a nun.

19
Ted Lasso: I’m more corny than Kevin Costner’s outfield.
20

Leslie: Zava and Chelsea are pretty much a done deal. I have confirmation of that from a very reliable source.
Rebecca: Oh, what source?
Leslie: A friend of my wife knows an agent whose masseuse moonlights as an airline steward on private jets. Now she wasn’t working today, but her coworker who can read lips, he saw Zava mouth the word “Chelsea” a lot.

21
Roy: I used to fancy Julie Andrews. Well, I still do, to be fair. The voice, the eyes, the way you know she’d tell you off if you’d been bad.

Episode Guide

Ted Lasso TV Series Season 3 (2023)

Episode 1. Smells Like Mean Spirit.
While Henry flies back home, Rebecca reads the press. Ted gives the team a tour of London’s sewer system. Roy and Keeley break up because they have issues in their relationship. Eventually, Ted charms the press with his jokes. Ted’s son, shows his father the new toy from his mother’s friend.

Episode 2. (I Don’t Want to Go to) Chelsea.
Rebecca and Leslie ask Ted to make the final decision about Ternt Crimm. Keeley meets her old friend Shandy and hires her. After Roy and Keeley break up, everybody is convinced that Keeley dumbed Roy. Coach Beard shows Ted the famous video about Zava who left Juventus.

Episode 3. 4-5-1.
Everybody is waiting for Zava at the press conference, and nobody knows when the star will arrive. Zava introduces members of the soccer team and admires Will. It turns out that he worked as a kit man when he was a boy. Rebecca visits her mother’s psychic Tish, who predicts that Rebecca will have a new family. Zava boosts the ratings and brings victories to Richmond.

My Episode 4. Big Week.
Sassy refused to have a serious relationship with Ted when he offered. Nate tries to make the best impression on the waitress that he likes. Shandy makes the records of the anonymous soccer interviews. It turns out that Nate came into the office and tore the sign “Believe”.

Trailer

2020 - 2023

Ted Lasso

Cast: Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso Brett Goldstein as Roy Kent Hannah Waddingham as Rebecca Welton Juno Temple as Keeley Jones Brendan Hunt as Coach Beard Nick Mohammed as Nathan Shelley Jeremy Swift as Leslie Higgins Phil Dunster as Jamie Tartt

TV Show: Season 1 (2020), Season 2 (2021), Season 3 (2023)

Genre: drama, comedy

Release date: 14 August 2020

Company Credits

Ruby’s Tuna, Universal Television, Doozer, Warner Bros. Television, Apple TV+.

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