Shotgun Wedding Quotes
The movie “Shotgun Wedding” is about the story of Darcy and Tom who want to get married. Starring Jennifer Lopez, Josh Duhamel, and D’Arcy Carden (The People We Hate at the Wedding Quotes). The release date of the film Shotgun Wedding is January 27, 2023.
Shotgun Wedding Movie Quotes
Darcy: Why did you pick an island with no cell service?
Tom: Because I wanted people to be present and in the moment.
– It’s just like our room teeming with bugs. The Four Seasons would’ve been nice, but you didn’t want my help, so …
– Some things are more important than money, Dad.
– That’s debatable.
Darcy: How do you know so much about grenades?
Tom: Video games.
Tom: Flamethrower!
Darcy: See, that’s why you only have a plan with one step!
Carol: I just want to ask, and I hope it’s okay. Is that genetics, or is it, like, Pilates or something?
Shotgun Wedding
2023
Cast:
Jennifer Lopez, Josh Duhamel, Jennifer Coolidge, Sonia Braga, Cheech Marin.
Shotgun Wedding Movie Quotes
Tom: That haircut you got last year, I hated it. I made your head look square. You looked like a f***ing Simpson.
Darcy: You said it was chic.
Darcy: How do you feel?
Tom: I feel horrible. But excited. You know, like, happy. Like, I’m gonna s**t my pants. You know, like, but in a good way.
Darcy: Are you dead?
Tom: Yes, he’s very not alive.
Jamie: God, I can’t believe that I had sex with you.
Ricky: Honestly, I was pretty surprised by that too.
Sean: Listen, it’s normal to feel scared. But I’m not going to let anything happen to you or your family. Promise.
Jeannie: Hey, Sean? I am also feeling scared. Like the most scared I’ve ever been in my whole life. It’s like I just watched The Ring, you know?
Shotgun Wedding Film Quotes
Pirate: She’s there. Isn’t she the bride?
Amanda: Oh. No.
Renata: Amanda thought it was appropriate to wear white to a wedding.
Amanda: I didn’t know that was a rule.
Carol: Yes, you did. You’re a gaslighter.
Carol: The prettiest of them all. You look so much better than the rest of us.
Carol Fowler: Nobody f***s with my family.
Tom: You spray that. I’ll light the match. It’ll be like a flamethrower.
Darcy: I mean, it won’t work!
Tom: Why?
Darcy: Too many steps.
Renata: You got my daughter rusty knives?
Carol: It’s your “something borrowed.” Everyone in our family uses them on their wedding day. Brings you a lifetime of good luck. Except for Uncle Greg who ended up getting decapitated on that forklift. But that’s not the knife’s fault.
Someone just left that in the bathroom.
– I need you to talk to your father’s yoga teacher.
– Girlfriend?
– Yes, whatever.
Shotgun Wedding Film Quotes 2022
– Now, I wanna be romantic but not too corny.
– There’s a really fine line between the tow.
– This is for your bride?
– Yes, trying to surprise her. I saw something just like it on Etsy, and it looked perfect but now I’m not sure.
I’ve just been questioning everything lately. What if the wedding’s not perfect? What if your parents never like me? What does life look like after baseball? But not once did I wonder if I’d be walking handcuffed through the jungle with a live grenade.
Tom: No, I don’t think we have the proper equipment.
Darcy: Well, they have guns.
Tom: Is there some kind of a manual? We need helmets. I see lots of helmets in the photos. And then why do they look scared?
Tom: That dress is growing on me.
Darcy: Thanks. I wanted something less traditional.
Margy: How many are there?
Darcy: Tow in the lobby. Couple more by the pool with the hostages. And one by the dock, right? But we got four.
Ace: What you mean, “got”?
Darcy: Got them to stop, you know, being alive.
Darcy: And this whole wedding was your way of trying to get control of your life, because you have to control everything. It’s like when you get out of the car to “help me” parallel park, when I can do it just fine on my own.
Tom: Yes, I wouldn’t call a 17-point turn “just fine.”
Darcy: Well, those jeans you bought from Old Navy last month were women’s jeans.
Tom: Well, I found then in the men’s section.
Darcy: They made you look like Stevie Nicks.
Darcy: Carol, Larry! This was more about me and my family, but we should get lunch sometime.
Carol: I would! We love eating!
Darcy: It’s hard for anyone to live up to your perfect marriage.
Carol: Who told you we had a perfect marriage?
Tom: Come on, Mom. You guys fought, like, once. It was about who loved the dog more.
Shotgun Wedding Movie Quotes 2022
Pirate: Listen to your woman.
Harriet: It’s okay. It’s just a pressure point. Relax. Just breathe into it.
Darcy: Thanks, Dad.
Robert: There are some things that are more important than money. I don’t know what they are, but I think …
Sean Hawkins: Is that a wad of loose hair?
Tom Fowler: Custom-made hair!
Carol: Come out, Mr. Pirate Man! My name is Carol Elaine Fowler, and I deserve to live.
Robert: Carol, what are you doing?
Carol: I’m humanizing myself. I saw it on Good Morning America. If you humanize yourself to them, they let you live.
Jeannie: My name is Jeannie Reed. I am a devoted mother and a slightly less devoted wife. This is my first vacation without my kids, so I drank a lot of champagne before the ceremony, took a couple of weed gummies, and the combination is really killing me right now.
Renata: I am Renata. I’m from Brazil. I have beautiful hair. What else?
Jamie: You’re a mother.
Renata: I am a mother.
Ricky: My name is Ricky Silver. A lot of my friends, they’re pairing up, and they’re getting married and drinking loose-leaf tea and s**t. And I’m still single. But last night I made love to a gorgeous and terrifying woman.
Jamie: You think I’m terrifying?
Ricky: You scare the s**t our of me.
Carol: I am a wife. I am a mother. And I was Milford, Michigan’s top realtor in 1998, and again in 2007. I dream of going to Ireland. I was a late bloomer, and my teeth didn’t come in till I was 14. Please pick me.
Shotgun Wedding Film Quotes 2023
Darcy: How could you not tell me about this?
Tom: You didn’t tell me that you were having doubts about getting married.
Darcy: Yes, you’re right. I didn’t You know why? Because all last year, you were in your head about everything. You thought my dad didn’t like you, so you started acting all weird. And now my dad doesn’t like you. You thought the Robins were going to drop you. And then you started playing badly, and they did drop you. You think that something bad is going to happen, and then you make it happen.
Ace: That’s called self-sabotage.
Tom: We didn’t see any of your staff, though.
Ace: I saw them getting locked up in the spa. They never bother with the locals. Americans are the rich idiots. No offence.
Margy: I just don’t understand why the pirates are still here. Last time, they just looted the rooms. Twenty minutes, gone.
Darcy: What do you mean, “last time”?
Margy: Two thousand islands in the Philippines, and they hit us twice?
Darcy: The pirates were here last summer? And you let us have our wedding here?
Margy: What? Tom, we talked about it, yes?
Darcy: You knew about this?
Tom: Well, first of all, nobody got killed last summer. And we both agreed that the chances of it happening again were very small.
Robert: Well, I’m not giving them a dime till I know my daughter is alive. That didn’t go over very well.
Harriet: I’m afraid they’re going to start shooting the hostages.
Sean: I don’t think they’re going to do that.
Harriet: Isn’t that exactly what pirates do?
Plot Shotgun Wedding movie
Shotgun Wedding
2023
Cast:
Jennifer Lopez as Darcy
Josh Duhamel as Tom
Sonia Braga as Renata
Jennifer Coolidge as Carol
Callie Hernandez as Jamie
Lenny Kravitz as Sean
Cheech Marin as Robert
D’Arcy Carden as Harriet
Genre: comedy, romance, action
Release date: January 27, 2023
